Original Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett passed away last year. Apparently, he was crazy as a loon, and spent most of his life in an asylum. Luckily, as a rock star, he was treated pretty well, and had a nice set of rooms in the tower, decorated with velvet pillows and tapestries.

He maintained correspondence with many of his rock star peers, including Jimmy Page, who taught him about Aleister Crowley and the occult. Well, Syd Barrett became obsessed with Aleister Crowley and satanism. He lined his mahogany bookshelves with occult tomes, and hung eerie paintings on the walls. He thought the voices in his head were demons telling him how to live. He studied and studied, and had himself sworn in as a shaman of the Church of Satan.

One of the voices told him that he shouldn't eat anything that had a soul, including plants, bugs, animals, and even fungi. As you can imagine, he started to waste away. The asylum director, who had befriended Syd over the years, tried to entice him with the asylum food; unfortunately, the asylum cook only knew how to prepare gruel. They tried fried gruel; gruel with strawberries; gruel with a side of gruel. Nothing worked.

The asylum director didn't want to force feed him, so he came up with a last gasp idea: he would take him to the 5-star restaurant that Syd used to eat at in his heyday. The Pig's Inn was full of other celebrities: Tony Blair, Elton John, Dick Cheney, and even Posh Spice.

Syd was calm and sure; there was nothing that could tempt him. The chef prepared a thick cut of filet mignon, medium rare, with just a dash of salt and pepper. The asparagus was bathed in a wine-butter sauce. Syd pushed the plate away.

Next, they brought out a rich chocolate cake with almond slivers and creme fraiche. Syd turned his nose up.

The duck medalions in sherry barely got a glance.

The asylum director and chef stood to the side scratching their heads. What could possibly tempt Syd Barrett?

All of a sudden, there was a commotion across the restaurant. Dick Cheney had keeled over and died suddenly of a heart attack. The ambulance came, but they couldn't do anything. He was dead.

After the body was taken away, the rest of the restaurant settled back into their meals, somewhat shaken, but still determined to make the best of the evening.

A short while later, the chef comes out with a fragrant roast pork loin, covered with a cognac reduction. Syd Barrett looks annoyed, and says, "Why do you keep bringing these dishes out for me? You know I won't eat anything that had a soul!" The chef leans down and whispers something in Syd's ear.

Suddenly, Syd digs into the pork. With a crazy look, he rips chunks off and devours them with gusto. He can't get enough! The asylum director is amazed, and asks the chef what he said to him to get him to eat.

"I told him there's no soul in this--it's Dick Cheney's rump."

The Asylum Director smiles with relief and yells, "Dine on, you crazy Shaman!"